Becoming a widow and a single mom is a deeply challenging and profoundly transformative experience. The grief, loss, and newfound responsibilities can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone on this journey. Here are some thoughts and tips to help navigate this difficult time:
Understanding Your Emotions: Grief comes in waves and can manifest in unexpected ways. Give yourself permission to experience the many complex emotions that come with such profound loss. It’s okay to cry, to feel angry, and to seek moments of peace and happiness amidst the pain. Remember, your feelings are valid! Don’t beat yourself up if you are feeling angry or upset, its natural! What can we learn from our feelings when we dig down to the root of it?
Seeking Support: Surround yourself with friends, family, and support groups who can offer understanding and empathy. Sharing your feelings with others who have experienced similar loss can provide solace and connection. Professional counseling or therapy can also be immensely helpful in working through the complex emotions that come with such a significant loss. Immediately after the loss of my husband I had friends to lean on, Monica who is in town helped with a lot of the immediate needs and my Amanda from up north came and stayed with my daughter and I for a week around the time of the funeral. I had a week break and then Kayla from across the country came out to stay for a while to help me start getting on track. It was one evening while she was here that I asked if she could give me some advice on therapists, before she flew back home, I had an appointment with an amazing therapist who I still see regularly!
Self-Care is Crucial: In the midst of grief and new responsibilities, it’s important to prioritize self-care. Make time for activities that bring you comfort and peace, whether it’s spending time in nature, reading, or engaging in a hobby that brings you joy. Prioritizing self-care is not an indulgence but a necessary part of your well-being! In order to be the best Mama you want to be, you have to take care of yourself!
Parenting through Grief: Navigating grief while also being a single parent adds an additional layer of complexity. Creating an open and supportive environment for your children to express their own grief while also seeking avenues for healing together is vital. Balancing your own emotional needs with the needs of your children is a courageous and ongoing effort, and it’s okay to seek help in this process. Therapy was key for me in this (and still is) taking the time to work through things with my therapist and throw around ideas for how to approach topics, allows me to be able to show up consistently for my daughter.
Legal and Financial Considerations: Addressing the practical aspects of becoming a widow and single mom, such as legal and financial matters, is crucial. Take the time to understand your rights, responsibilities, and any estate or inheritance matters that may need to be addressed. Seek the guidance of a trusted legal or financial professional to navigate these complexities. You do not have to shoulder it all, do we need to say it louder for the people in back?! I’ll admit, I do not like asking for help (stubborn Taurus) but when it comes to legal and financial concerns it helps to have people. It is ok, in fact I would encourage you to find trusted financial advisors, tax advisors, insurance advisors and legal advisors. I like to joke that I have a guy for everything but in all reality, delegating some of these tasks has taken a huge load off of me!
Honoring Your Partner’s Memory: Finding ways to honor and remember your partner can be a source of comfort and healing for both you and your children. Whether it’s creating a memory book, establishing a charitable foundation, or simply incorporating their memory into daily life, finding ways to keep their spirit alive can be a meaningful part of the healing process. Every situation is different and this step is going to depend on where you are at in your healing, you may not be ready to break out the photo album just yet and that is ok! Keeping lines of communication open with your littles is a great first step.
Looking to the Future: While grief may feel all-consuming, there will come a time when glimpses of hope for the future begin to appear. As you rebuild your life as a single parent, allow yourself to embrace new experiences and possibilities for you and your children. You are stronger than you know, and while the path ahead may contain challenges, it is also a journey toward resilience, growth, and finding beauty in life once more.
Becoming a widow and a single mom is an incredibly difficult journey, but with time, support, and self-care, it’s possible to find moments of healing and hope. You are not defined by your circumstances; you are defined by the strength and love that you embody as you navigate this challenging path toward healing and new beginnings.
If you have lost someone close to you, I am so sorry, Mama! Stick with me as we go on this journey to find our Bliss! Sending Love and Light from Elisabeth the Wanderess